An Inburgering Rant

How long can a girl go without writing about inburgering? Apparently too long! Though I had a bit of a sabbatical from classes (some may refer to it as milking my messed-up foot after falling back in the towards the end of March, I like to call it my sabbatical) don't be fooled. There is soooooo much going on in my inburgering world. Where shall I begin...

Thanks to my inability to walk down the steps without trying to kill myself, I have missed that 80% attendance necessary to have the courses paid for by the Gemeente. Turns out - as long as I don't fall down the steps again - my total bill is €270. Though I'm not thrilled at having to pay, €270 for a year's worth of classes and 3+ books is not bad. Not bad at all. Luckily, because it was a medical emergency/condition that caused me to miss so much, I get out of paying a fine. Whew! Lesson learned: if you don't want to pay a fine, fall down a flight of stairs.

Since we last spoke on this topic, I've also gotten a new contact persoon (also called trajectbegeleider - meaning advisor or, you guessed it, contact person). This is my third one since beginning this process less than a year ago - living proof of what I noted in my most recent Next Steps column:

 "...you will be assigned a trajectbegeleider, which is an advisor of sorts that will be there for you throughout your year of inburgering. Until she goes on maternity leave, at which point you will get a new one who will inexplicably vanish. He will be replaced by someone who will eventually change jobs, this replacement will be more or less useless, forcing you to request someone else who will eventually become ill, leaving you with yet another trajectbegeleider."

I must say, this one's my favorite. Unlike my first one, she knows what she's talking about. Unlike my second, this one's not trying to be my mother. In fact, I just found out today (my first meeting with her) that we were born in the same year! She's very meticulous with taking notes and everything she had promised to prepare for our meeting, she had actually taken care of. Only if you have dealt with anyone employed by the government do you know how rare this is.

Since we last talked, I've traded in my speaking group for a writing group. Now every Thursday evening, I go to the Gemeente building for two hours and work on writing in Dutch. For my first class, I was put in the wrong level, so there was a period where I couldn't go to the group because I had to get an official letter from the leader of my new writing group to invite me into that group. It's this kind of thing that just drives me bonkers. As soon as I've had a session or two in my new writing group, I'll be back to post a little about it.

Here comes the "Rant" part. I go to class three days a week and over those three days I have two teachers: one for two days of the week and one for the third day. Our one-day teacher is magnificent. She's so excited about her profession and about her students and what she teaches. It is important to her that we clearly understand what is being taught. Always above and beyond what's in the textbook, she expects lots from us and always has something extra to add. If there's a concept we continually get wrong, she drills it with us and finds new ways to explain it until we understand.

The two-day teacher is so boring and too structured. She has every second of every lesson planned out. That means no time for drilling, no time for explanation, no time for questions. Conversations are always going on while she's teaching and she does nothing to quiet them. Homework assignments are handled in one of two ways: A) we never go over them or look at them again or B) we do the entire assignment all over again in class the next day. On Fridays, she has an assistant. An assistant who is always correcting her. Because she doesn't know what she's talking about much of the time. In the time that I missed class because of my foot, I had so much catching up to do for Mevrouw One-Day and missed nothing with Mevrouw Two-Day (I kept up with bookwork while I was out).

This, of course, has sparked a new trend among my classmates. I call it "The Mass Exitus." In short, this is when each student does what he or she can to 'get the hell outta Dodge.' For many, this means taking the NT2 (the Dutch as a second language test also known as the Staatsexamen) early so they can finish the classes early. Some have been very successful at weaseling their way to two-day weeks instead of three (oh do I envy these people). In my case, ending classes early means having to pay a fine, plus the €270 for the classes, plus the €90 out of pocket fee to take the NT2 (Gemeente Utrecht covers this cost if you complete the inburgeringscurses). I'm sure negotiating shorter school weeks would mean a fine and the class fee. I didn't bother to confirm that though.

My other option is to complain. To the teacher or to the school, doesn't matter. A friend and classmate informed me that she had already tried talking to Mevrouw Two-Day back in November. As you can see, that's done a lot of good (NOT!!). I'm afraid that complaining will do one of three things: she could make my life miserable for the duration of my time at the school because I insinuated that she was a crappy teacher; she could make my life miserable for the duration of my time at the school because I insinuated to her boss behind her back that she was a crappy teacher; or I would just be wasting my breath either way. To top it all off, I actually like this lady. I know you probably won't believe that after what you've read so far in this post, but I do. She's very lovely and very nice. But, like I keep telling myself, nice people don't always make good teachers.

Now it's your turn to rant! I know I'm not the only one going through this right now. How is the process going for you?

Photos: Stichting Milieu / Ministerie van Volkshuisvesting Ruimtelijke Ordening en Milieubeheer

Monday at Noon

Monday at noon in the Netherlands... If you've ever been in the Netherlands on Monday at noon, you know where this is going (for those of you who haven't and, therefore don't, prepare to be enlightened). Because if you've ever been in the Netherlands at noon, you'll have heard this:

And you'll probably have thought "Oh my God, the sky is falling!" No worries - it's just the Netherlands testing their air raid sirens. In Dutch, this is called a luchtalarm or, literally, air alarm. These babies were put into place during the Cold War and it was decided to keep them up and running in case of emergency situations. Luckily, this only happens once a month, on the first Monday.

If you hear this alarm on any other day or at any time other than noon on the first Monday of every month, go inside immediately, close all doors and windows, and tune into the television or radio to find out what is going on. Wait until the official announcement that the situation is safe before going outside or re-opening windows and doors. These announcements can be found via any one of the channels and radio stations linked just above or by going to this site and entering your postcode in the context box for information on your region.

The vast majority of the information given on the site Denk Vooruit (Think Ahead) is in Dutch, but they do have an English page here. And here's a handy-dandy reference card in English in case of an emergency. A Touch of Dutch also lists some important things to remember in case of emergencies of this magnitude.

Like a friend of mine from the US pointed out, let's just hope nothing cataclysmic happens on the first Monday of any given month at noon!

The first time I heard the sirens... well, I didn't. I was babysitting the first Monday in January 2009 and when I got home, my husband asked if I heard the sirens and got scared.

"What sirens?"
"The sirens that went off today at noon."
"Oh."
"You didn't hear the sirens??"
"Uh, no."
"How did you not hear the sirens?"

I think he was a bit disappointed that I ended up being oblivious to it as opposed to doing what most expats do and flip out. Had I heard them, I certainly would have! To this day I have no idea what it was that had me so preoccupied that I wasn't able to hear them - they're LOUD.

Have you had the pleasure of being in the Netherlands at noon on the first Monday of the month? What was your reaction? If you'd like to take any visitors or new expats for a ride, check out some of these hilarious interpretations of what these sirens really mean from Invader Stu.

10 Things to Have in Your Purse in The Netherlands

"Always be prepared" - that's the Boy Scout motto.

It should also be the expat's motto. You never know what you're going to need and when you're going to need it - especially in The Netherlands where the bureaucracy is indecisive at best and unpredictable is an understatement when describing the weather.

To help you better prepare for life in The Netherlands, here's a list of 10 things I have learned to keep in my purse at all times.

Pssst! Tyra, I think you're going to need a bigger purse...

1. Residence permit - Once you have this, it's really the only form of identification you need. In most cases it's preferred over passports and (Dutch) driver's licenses.
2. Camera- With all the photo ops in this country, you'll be sorry if you leave this at home.
3. Agenda - The Dutch make plans for everything. Even a coffee date has to be scheduled at least a week in advance. The Dutch are not much on people "just dropping in." I must say, this is one of those traits the Dutch possess that I really like.
4. OV Chipkaart (or Strippenkaart) - This is your key to getting around the country. It works on trains, trams, the metro, and buses. Just hold the Chipkaart in front of the scanner and wait for the "Goede Reis" ("Have a nice trip") signal. Be sure you always have enough money on it!
5. Bicycle seat cover - Whether you keep it on your bicycle seat at all times or keep it in your bag to place on the seat, when it rains while your bike is outdoors, you will be very grateful for it.
6. Key to bike lock - Always, ALWAYS lock up your bike here in The Netherlands if you want it to still be there when you get back. Leaving your bike unlocked is like leaving your keys in the car with the doors open.
7. Sweater - Dutch weather is unpredictable at best. Though the Dutch say "april doet wat hij wilt" ("April does what it wants") you could say this about absolutely any day of the year here in the Netherlands. Just because it's hot and sunny when you leave the house doesn't mean you won't be freezing by the time you reach your destination.
8. Poncho - If you haven't heard, it rains a lot in The Netherlands. When you have a bike commute in the rain, this is the only thing that will keep you from showing up soaked.
9. Umbrella - See numbers 5 and 8. This is for extra protection. And you will need it. Having an umbrella in my purse at all times has proven to be a lifesaver more times than I have appendages to count on. Even if you ignore everything else on this list, don't allow yourself to forget this item.
10. Brush - You will always cycle against the wind here and it rains more often than it doesn't. Once you get to your final destination, you will need this item to ensure that it doesn't look like you're trying for dreadlocks.

Anything else I missed or do you do have something in addition that has proven handy to carry around at all times? Feel free to leave them in a comment.

Expat Meme: Part 2

She's done it again! Isabella over at A Touch of Dutch has done another expat Meme. Since I did her last one, I couldn't possibly miss this opportunity now, could I? So, here goes. Feel free to do the Meme as well and let me as well as Isabella know as we love to read them and it's always helpful for other expats to hear about the experiences of others.

→ What activities or routines do you participate in now, on a daily or regular basis, which you had never done before in your home country? More than one example is great to share about!
I cycle a LOT more now. Pretty much every day. Groceries on a daily basis is also new. Of course there's also the Dutch language thing. Naturally this is one thing I had never done before... especially not on a daily basis. I'm also taking an extensive Dutch course known as inburgering. That happens three days a week for three hours a day. I'm also a business owner - something I probably never would have done if I stayed in the US.

→ If you will be soon or eventually going back to where you came from, do you feel you would be able to reintegrate well, or do you feel there would be difficulty? Please explain why you feel you would or wouldn't be able to get along fine. And would you choose to return to the place where you came from, or would you rather try a new location in your home country? If so, where?
At the moment, we have no concrete plans to do anything really. We'll stay here as long as we're happy and go wherever our lives take us if and when it's time to move on. I think, at this point, it would be extremely difficult for me to readjust to life if we moved back to the States. Personality-wise, I fit in better here and there are so many aspects of the culture I have grown to adore that I would miss them terribly. I've also become quite spoiled by vacation days and healthcare and don't plan on giving those up so easily. It might be interesting to try France or the UK. I've spent time in both of those countries and really enjoyed them. I think it would be fun to live in either one for a spell (though I'd have to brush up on my French first)! If we were to go back to the US, I would just love love love to live in New York City. No matter where I go or what I see, it has always been - and I'm sure always will be - my favorite place in the world.

→ Will you be living in the country where you are an expat for the rest of your life? For example, after you no longer need to be living abroad, if this is your situation, would you choose to remain in your host country? Or would you prefer to go back to where you came from?
Again, it depends on where we are in our lives and what makes sense for us as a couple. I think it would be fun to live somewhere else before returning State-side though. Things change and people change, so who knows where we'll end up!

→ Name at least one thing you had assumed/stereotyped about the culture and/or lifestyle of the citizens before you came to the country abroad where you are living? And if you were to now explain how you feel about these same assumption, would you say your assumption was correct? Or do you feel differently, after witnessing for yourself? Feel free to explain what you now think or how you now feel about this.
To be honest, I knew so little about the Dutch and The Netherlands. My husband was, in fact, the first Dutch person I had ever met and my first time in The Netherlands was the first time I came to visit him. I'm actually ashamed that in all my schooling in the US I learned absolutely nothing about The Netherlands. Given the ties and connections between the countries, there's really no excuse for this. I think the Dutch are very liberal and open-minded. The government takes care of it's people, but the bureaucracy is the shambles. They're an outdoorsy, sturdy people who adore the sun and are attached to their bikes. And I've never seen anyone wearing clogs!

→ Do you have experience living in other foreign countries beside the host country where you live currently? If so, please share differences in the culture you've experienced going from your home country to the other host country, as well as differences you've experienced upon coming to your current host country?
I stayed in France for about a month with friends and did a three month study abroad in London at the British American Drama Academy. The first was for such a short time and I was with my "second family", so it wasn't really a big deal. I got to follow a French student to school and shop at the markets and speak French with the locals. The second experience was a bit different as it was mostly an American experience. I did get a good dose of British teaching tactics ("Well done, you!").

→ What leads you to be abroad? Is it due to love, or do you have completely different circumstances? And if this is the case for you, did you get to choose the Netherlands? If so, why? Each of us has a different story, and I feel this is interesting for us all to share.
My husband is Dutch. We met through mutual friends while he was on vacation in the US. So The Netherlands actually chose me. You can read more about our story here.

→ Select one or more of the following and share, if you wish, about your thoughts on this. When you return to visit your home country, do you:

A. Find yourself surprised by how things have changed while you were away? I haven't really noticed a change at all. But then, I've only been away for a year and a half.
B. Explore areas where you grew up [to see how it's changed; visit friends & favorite former hangouts]? Not yet, but as my 10 year highschool reunion is coming up, I will do soon!
C. Feel you have more knowledge and/or experience in, for example, worldly issues/topics? Absolutely. I know more about other cultures, I know more about Europe and I feel like I understand people better. I've seen my country and my people through other eyes and there is very little that can be more eye-opening than that.
D. Feel personally or more culturally enriched by your experience[s] living abroad? I do. I feel more empowered and self-sufficient. And by exploring the cultures of others and getting a better look at your own, you can only grow.
E. Ever find yourself explaining how the stereotypes of your own and/or your host country are not true? Actually, I sadly always have to be reminded by fellow Americans that the stereotypes of my own country are not always true. I'm continually explaining the ridiculousness of the stereotypes Americans have of the Netherlands are not always true.
F. Find your political beliefs have changed? Nope. Just strengthened!
G. Other.

→ And one last question, for those who are no longer expats: Have you already moved back to your home country? If so, have you experienced re-entry or reverse culture shock [definition of this here]? This does not apply to me, but if it does to you, please answer the question in a comment or do this Meme for yourself and link back to it! In the meanwhile, here's a report I did recently on Culture Shock in The Netherlands for Expat Exchange.

If you do this meme, please let me know in the comments and link to me, as I'd love to read what you have to share and believe your answers will too be helpful for other expats or future expats.

All this talk about Memes make me think about interviews. And speaking of interviews, I will be running a series of Expat Interviews here on Clogs and Tulips beginning in June. If you're interested in participating, email me at americancloggie@aol.com.  

Culture Shock on Expat Exchange

Even with the NaBloPoMo madness, I somehow found time to do a report on Culture Shock in The Netherlands for Expat Exchange. This is a new series by Expat Exchange, offering expats in various countries the opportunity to share their experiences with culture shock.

I've written for Expat Exchange before (Vogue: Fashion in Holland, Weighty Issues: The Dutch Edition, Expat Relationship Advice: The Netherlands), so it was nice to be able to write something else for them. They provide other reports on schools, cities, and relationships and have a great collection of articles on tons of countries.

My report on Culture Shock in The Netherlands was featured in Expat Exchange's newsletter The Foreign Exchange on 17 May 2010. The following is an excerpt taken from the report for the newsletter:

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do." This cliche has done me nothing but good. Always remember that you are in someone else's country. What is acceptable in your home country may not be here and vice versa. At the same time, don't let go of who you are or where you came from. Of course things will be different, but that's the beauty of living in another country. Different does not mean good or bad, better or worse. It simply means 'different.'"

Speaking of interviews, I will be running a series of Expat Interviews here on Clogs and Tulips beginning in June. If you're interested in participating, email me at americancloggie@aol.com.

Queen's Day 2010

 Last year right after Queen's Day I lost my camera. In January, it was recovered again and I was able to post all the photos I had taken during Queen's Day the previous year. Well, I've done it again. I've lost my camera. Of course, it has all my Queen's Day photos on it plus all my Little Broadway photos and some others. Cross your fingers that it will resurface again (hopefully before January 2011) and that this will not become a Queen's Day tradition!

This year, we spent a rather quiet Koninginnedag (Queen's Day). The night before, we headed out to the city center of Utrecht where we took a look at some of the goods for sale at the vrijmarkt (free market) and headed to a bar for some drinks when it began to pour down rain. Luckily, my time in the Netherlands has taught me to keep an umbrella on my person at all times. As all other cover was taken by others hoping to stay dry, the four of us huddled under my little umbrella until a space opened up inside one of the nearby pubs.

At around 1am, we decided to head home, first stopping to get a crown for my Little Broadway costume collection and some jewelry for me since there is no such thing as too much jewelry. All in all, we dropped about 17 Euro while strolling home (snacks included). Good beer, great buys, gezellig (cozy, snug, pleasant, sociable, chatty) atmosphere, crappy bands. Awesome night!

The next day we slept in. After so many beers, so much walking around, withstanding the awful weather, and getting to bed well past 2am, it was well-deserved. Around 3pm, we headed in to town to meet a friend of mine and her Dutch partner. As she was preparing to take the NT2 Dutch as a Second Language test (good luck Shahirah!), we spent the whole afternoon speaking Dutch. Which, I hope, makes up for the fact that we had a very anti-Queen's-Day Queen's Day. We went inside a restaurant (it was gorgeous out, so there was nowhere to be found to sit outdoors) for a few drinks, strolled around the less crowded areas a bit, and then hit up a Thai restaurant along the Oudegracht (Old Canal) for a delicious dinner. I did wear orange though!

Though my Queen's Day was rather uneventful, it was certainly not so for the rest of the Netherlands. Festivities took place all day - bands, games, markets, DJs, food, beer, performances and LOTS of orange. Here are some things that made this Queen's Day different from those past:

• This year marks Queen Beatrix's 30th year as queen of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. Each year on Queen's Day, the royal family makes an appearance in a different province. This year's stop was Zeeland in the cities of Middelburg and Wemeldinge.
• The day before, Koninginnenacht, the queen unveiled a monument in memory of victims of the Queen's Day attack in 2009. Made of granite, the monument depicts a cardboard box with blue and white balloons rising out of it and is located in the city center of Apeldoorn, where the attack took place. .
• Garbage workers went on strike in Amsterdam on Queen's Day. The roughly 800,000 visitors to Amsterdam left the city piled with trash between Konininnenacht and Koninginnedag celebrations on April 29 and 30. Check out the video below to see the mess for yourself. The mess has since been cleaned up, but the garbage worker strikes in the Netherlands are far from over...

Until my camera returns (I'm so hopeful that it will that I won't even talk about the possibility that it might be lost forever), check out some of the blinding bright orange Queen's Day photos from Haarlem at Old Fart Expats.

Photo by Speel-o-theek / Video by NOS Journaal